Mum just came home with nearly 50 fucking cartons of milk I thought this maths problem shit was a tumblr joke I didn’t think fuckery like this legitimately took place
no girls allowed
so good

Mum just came home with nearly 50 fucking cartons of milk I thought this maths problem shit was a tumblr joke I didn’t think fuckery like this legitimately took place
no girls allowed
so good
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
JESUS CRUST
romeo and juliet (1996)
Juliet is a metaphor for an Oscar.
Only for that comment